This are the opening pages of a new script I'm putting together.
'ADVENTURE LAND'
Alan 'Marcy' Green
EXT. HIGHWAY - LATE AFTERNOON
A car drives. Its long shadow flits over roadside brush.
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
Four passengers. CORY: the pseudo jock, driving and DELILLA:
the pseudo princess, next to him. STUDDLE: the tormented
artist, and CLOSSY: the shy intellectual in the back.
STUDDLE
We're in the middle of nowhere.
CORY
Brilliant. You figured that out.
Delilla changes the radio from country to 80's pop. The
signal is weak. She goes back to polishing her toenails.
CORY
You're the one with the map. Where
the fuck are we?
Studdle looks at a printout of a Google map. There is a
railroad track, a road, and a river, among other features.
STUDDLE
We passed it.
CORY
No we didn't. We didn't pass a
road.
They cross a bridge.
STUDDLE
Okay this is the river, right?
Clossy takes the map.
CLOSSY
He's right. Turn around.
Cory does his best pissed off look (not convincing) and
wheels the car around, goes back across the bridge.
MOMENTS LATER
They are stopped on the dirt shoulder. INSERT MAP.
CLOSSY
The bridge is behind us. We're
headed south.
(points to a train going
by in distance)
That's right here.
She points to railroad tracks on the map. (ON THE MAP) The
road is halfway between the bridge and railroad.
CLOSSY
The road should be here.
CORY
It ain't here. I don't see a
fucking road.
DELILLA
I'm hot.
CORY
(smarmy)
You are hot, baby. So hot! Ooooh
baby! Can I touch you? Ouch!
DELILLA
(over)
Shut up. You're an idiot.
Clossy and Studdle exchange a look -- 'Cory's an ass'.
CORY
How do you know we're headed south?
CLOSSY
I just know. That way is south.
We're going that way. Therefore,
we're going south.
CORY
(turns radio down)
Maybe we're pointed north. You're
looking at the map wrong.
CLOSSY
If we were going north, the road
would be on this side...
(points right)
Instead of that side.
(points left)
She and Studdle wait for the obvious to sink in.
STUDDLE
Cory, there's no road.
CORY
Studdle, I see that.
CLOSSY
We're going south, and. There's.
No. Road.
STUDDLE
Let's go back to that town.
CORY
What town? That intersection?
Studdle shrugs.
CORY
Okay, Clossy. You're the navigator.
Do we go back to town or keep
looking?
CLOSSY
I'm hungry. It's getting dark.
DELILLA
Me too.
Cory sees he's outnumbered, sighs, turns around in his seat
and drops it in gear. Delilla turns the radio back up.
STUDDLE
(whispers, to Clossy)
You're sooo hot!
CLOSSY
(bad soap opera acting)
So are yooouu!
The red Acura MDX speeds off, pushed too hard on the dirt,
the tires squeal as it gains footing on the road.
EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - DUSK
The Acura pulls up in a cloud of dust. They get out.
It's standard middle-of-nowhere fare. Doubtful, they go in.
INT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - CONTINUOUS
They enter. Dark, typical.
CORY
(sniffs air)
What brand of second-hand hick is
that?
Studdle indicates Cory put a lid on it.
CORY
I'll get a pitcher.
He heads for the bar, the others find a table.
TABLE
They sit. Clossy opens a laptop.
DELILLA
Forget it.
CLOSSY
Dead.
INSERT SCREEN: THE FIREFOX BROWSER. Warning: Server Not
Found...cannot connect to Internet...Internet not available.
DELILLA
This place smells.
CLOSSY
Is that pee or old beer?
STUDDLE
You get used to it after a couple
decades.
Delilla sees someone at the bar.
DELILLA
Oh my god! Clossy, look!
Clossy and Studdle look.
At the bar is a WOMAN. She is maybe 50, trim, wearing a
shabby brown dress that advertises her wrinkled breasts proudly.
Her face is heavily made up. Severely. Her lips are
smeared with lipstick that goes well outside the lines. Her
eyelids are glopped with black liner. Cheeks rouged to the
point of special effect. All on a foundation of white powder.
She is a caricature of a whore.
The kids' jaws drop.
DELILLA
That is so sad.
CLOSSY
Tragic.
STUDDLE
Green Acres gone bad. That's severe
collateral damage.
The woman turns and looks at them. Delilla chokes back
laughter and looks away. Studdle covers his face, Clossy
covers her mouth and snickers. They all study the surface of
the table.
STUDDLE
No!
CLOSSY
Oh, that is embarrassing!
The woman's eyes are filled with pain -- old, worn down, but
deep. She stares squarely at the kids as if sizing them up.
She doesn't seem crazy or unaware of how she looks, and she
clings to a thread of dignity.
Cory arrives with a pitcher of beer, everyone grabs a glass.
CORY
You get online?
Delilla grabs Cory's hand.
DELILLA
Cory. Look!
Cory sits.
CORY
What?
They point toward the bar. Cory looks.
CORY
What?!
They look. The woman is gone.
DELILLA
There was this freaky woman.
STUDDLE
You missed it, dude.
DELILLA
Yeah, she had all this makeup, and
was...so...
CORY
(over)
Okay, okay! Whatever.
(Clossy)
You get online?
CLOSSY
No wi-fi. But...
(tada!)
I copied the page for 'offline use'
before we left civilization.
Impressed, Cory looks at Studdle.
STUDDLE
She's like that.
INSERT LAPTOP SCREEN: website for 'Adventure Land', a ranch
that hosts fishing and hunting trips. Also featured is
horseback riding, tennis, hiking, and camping.
The site's design is rough -- fonts don't match, pictures are
missing, it's plain. There is a Google map on the website.
STUDDLE
'Adventure Land'. There's a dumb
name.
DELILLA
I like it. 'Adventure'. Who doesn't
want an adventure.
CLOSSY
It is pretty dumb.
CORY
It's the best we could afford.
Clossy compares it to the printed map.
CLOSSY
The map's right. There's supposed
to be a road between the bridge and
the railroad tracks.
(turns it to Studdle)
See?
INSERT WEBSITE MAP: road between the bridge and railroad
tracks. Graphics for the road look a bit rough, like it might
have been drawn by hand.
STUDDLE
Should be. But, it's not.
CORY
What's the number?
Clossy turns the laptop so Cory can see the screen.
THE SCREEN: a phone number -- it's not toll-free.
CORY
(with a flourish)
I'll take care of everything.
Everyone scoffs. Cory lifts the cell phone to his ear.
CORY
Shit.
DELILLA
No wi-fi, no cell.
STUDDLE
Welcome to the eighties.
CLOSSY
They had cell phones in the
eighties.
STUDDLE
Yeah. But were they like a foot
long with those antennas...
DELILLA
Yeah, they weighed like, ten
pounds.
Cory presses a couple buttons, shakes the phone, no dice.
They see a pay phone.
CORY
Anybody know how to use one of
those?
Clossy writes the number on a napkin and slides it to Cory.
STUDDLE
They're voice activated. You yell
the number and it dials
automatically--
CORY
(over)
--Yeah, yeah. Fuck you.
DELILLA
There's a juke box.
Everyone digs into their pockets. CHANGE IS DUMPED ONTO THE
SCARRED WOOD TABLE.
MOMENTS LATER
Delilla feeds quarters into the jukebox then makes a
selection. Studdle jams quarters in the pool table. Cory
pumps a quarter in the phone and dials.
Rock music starts.
Clossy racks the pool balls. Studdle breaks -- very poorly.
MOMENTS LATER
Clossy and Studdle haven't sunk any balls. Delilla approaches
swaying to the music. She's sexy and graceful - a real prize.
In b.g. Cory talks on the pay phone.
DELILLA
(takes cue from Clossy)
Give me that. I'll show you how
it's done.
CLOSSY
(friendly)
Bitch.
PHONE
CORY
Yeah, we're at this tavern. It's --
VOICE ON PHONE
(over)
Sure. Sure. I know where that's at.
CORY
Oh, yeah?! Great!
POOL TABLE
Delilla lines up a shot.
DELILLA
Six in the corner.
She shoots, the six ball goes in the corner. She gloats.
Clossy shoots a mean grin. Studdle loves it. Cory arrives.
STUDDLE
Well?
CORY
(grabbing a cue)
Someone's coming to get us.
(relief all around)
This happens a lot. Even the locals
can't find this place...'Adventure
Land'...it's too far out.
DELILLA
Great!
CLOSSY
So, it's adventure time.
CORY
Don't resorts usually have a 1-800
number?
DELILLA
Three in the side.
STUDDLE
How long will it be?
CORY
The guy said a few minutes.
'Awesome'. Delilla lines up and strokes the cue ball smartly.
The three ball bounces off a rail and goes into the side
pocket. She dances to the music smiling ear to ear.
The others roll their eyes. 'Lucky'. She plays air guitar.
EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - DUSK
There is a clear sky. On the horizon, backlighting the
mountains, is the last rosy hue of sunset.
EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - NIGHT
A pickup truck pulls off the road and parks. A man gets out
of the truck and goes into the tavern.
INT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - NIGHT
The gang is back at the table, waiting.
A MAN enters. He is JOHN, in his 50's, in good shape for his
age, deeply tanned, a square-looking guy whose word you would
figure you could take at face value.
John spots the kids and his face lights up. He heads toward
the table. The kids see him and stand.
JOHN
Hi there. Cory?
CORY
That's me.
JOHN
Sorry you all got lost. It's easy
to do out here.
CORY
Yeah.
JOHN
Hope you haven't been waiting too
long.
STUDDLE
Just a few minutes.
DELILLA
We played pool.
JOHN
That's real good. Real good. My
name's John. I'm one of the hunting
guides out at Adventure Land. I'll
show you all how to get out there.
CLOSSY
We think the map might be wrong. We
followed it, but...
JOHN
Well, that's understandable.
There's been some land reclamation
around here. Preservationists.
(pests, you understand?)
Some of the roads have been
replanted with trees and they built
new roads where they supposedly
have less impact on wildlife. Not
that I understand any of that, mind
you.
(polite smiles, chuckles)
Anyway. You all ready to roll?
CORY
Yeah! Let's roll!
JOHN
We'll get you settled in and good
and rested tonight. Get a early
start tomorrow.
(everyone nods)
My truck's out here. You want to
follow me?
They leave.
EXT. ROADSIDE TAVERN - NIGHT
They walk to the cars.
JOHN
Let me guess.
(points to Acura)
That one is yours.
CORY
Yeah. How'd you know?
JOHN
Folks around here don't drive
those.
DELILLA
Yeah. Didn't you know that?
STUDDLE
Fancy pants city boy.
JOHN
(points to pickup)
This is mine. I'll pull up to the
road and wait for you all.
They agree and thank him. John gets in the truck, starts it.
The kids get in the Acura.
Cory starts it and wheels around behind John, who is waiting
at the road. John waves out his window, then pulls out. Cory
follows.
DELILLA
(cheeky)
Well. Isn't this fun!
The others follow suit.
CLOSSY, STUDDLE, CORY
Oh! Yes! I'm so excited!! I'm all a
quiver!
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
The two cars drive. The kids' attitude has dried out.
DELILLA
How far is this place?
STUDDLE
(Cory)
We been following this guy for
miles. You said it was a few
minutes away.
CORY
(over)
I didn't-- I did not say that! I
said he said he was a few minutes
away. That, he would meet us in a
few minutes. I don't know how far
this place is.
Clossy looks out the window. There isn't a light anywhere.
CLOSSY
Adventure Land must be in the
middle of nowhere.
A chill falls over the others.
STUDDLE
Yeah...
The truck's turn indicator comes on.
CORY
Okay, okay! Here we go. We're here!
This is it! Finally...
The truck slows and pulls off the road onto a wide trail
that's been used by cars.
The Acura stops on the road.
STUDDLE
What the fuck.
DELILLA
Where's he going?
Within a few seconds the truck's tail lights are obscured
by brush.
CLOSSY
That's a road?
CORY
He said they were making new ones,
or something.
CLOSSY
Okay. That's a road under
construction?
STUDDLE
We're going to lose him, man!
DELILLA
I don't like this. It's creepy.
CLOSSY
This does qualify as creepy.
Definitely.
The truck stops, waiting. Its taillights mostly obscured by
brush. The kids are on edge.
CORY
Well? You want to turn back.
The notion of actually turning back sobers the kids. They
muster a somewhat false courage.
STUDDLE
Dude. Go! He's not going to wait
forever.
DELILLA
Yeah. Go!
CLOSSY
Chicken shit!
CORY
You guys wanted an adventure.
Cory sighs and follows the truck.
.
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